The birth of my son truly changed the core essence of my understanding of what life truly means. I feel compelled to share his birth story, because everything that I work for is truly for him and to make him proud.
My husband and I got married in 2011 and we decided to wait until winter arrived to go on our honeymoon, as we both love to travel and we both especially love to travel to warm countries during winter. We decided to visit South America, specifically Argentina, Uruguay and Chile and we had 3 weeks to enjoy this special time.
And we did.
We never planned to become pregnant, we believed that the universe will bless us when we are ready, but little did we know that we were ready on our honeymoon.
A week before our trip ended, we found out we were pregnant. We were both incredibly happy, a little stunned, but overall we felt incredibly blessed to have a honeymoon baby.
For whatever reason, I always knew we would have a boy and as hard as we wanted to keep it a surprise, I wanted to know if I was right – and I was. I have always been fascinated by homebirth and after reading pretty much all the books that Inna May has written, watched as many homebirth videos as possible, reach articles, research, etc…
The book that truly prepared my soul for this journey was:
I was 100% sure that is what I wanted for my son. It was important to me to have a midwife that can support my natural journey and encourage me throughout the whole time. Becoming a mother truly is a transformation and I felt the journey to get there needed to have the right energy, wholesomeness and spirituality. I was very lucky to find a midwife at Kensington Midwives, as it is incredibly difficult to find care with a midwife in Ontario, Canada.
I had a fantastic pregnancy and I felt humbled every day to be able to create a life, to help it grow and to experience what I was experiencing.
My estimated due date was October 30th and as “cool” as it was to have a Halloween baby, I knew he wasn’t ready to join us yet. I wasn’t nervous about being induced, because I knew I would have the support I needed to ensure he was healthy and “free” to come when he was ready. I also knew I wasn’t going to wait too long either…
I started experiencing surges Thursday evening, November 1st. We were watching football and I was more introverted than ever. I felt he was getting ready to be in my arms. Throughout the whole pregnancy, I was able to connect and communicate with my son on a emotional and spiritual level that I never thought possible.
I knew those surges were not practice surges, but I have very high pain tolerance and I really didn’t feel it was necessary to put any focus on them yet. We went to bed and around 1am, my water broke. I was ecstatic, I closed my eyes and told my son: “babe, we are about to do this, me and you, together… are you ready”. I felt he was, so I decided to go lay down, since it was 1 in the morning and I figured it will be a while. I was practicing my breathing through each surge and I was surprisingly very relaxed. But excited… too excited to sleep. I didn’t want to tell my husband my water broke, as I wanted to make sure he got his rest, and also didn’t want to scare him either.
I went in the other room and decided to start dancing. I put Bob Marley on the computer and decided to sway my hips. During each surge, I would wine harder and remember all those times I used to love dancing to reggage and kep telling myself, this wining is good for the hips. 🙂
I was trying to keep myself in a positive and fun spirit. I lit up some candles and incense. It smelled so amazing, and the room had this warm feeling about it.
Around 3:30am, the surges got really intense where I had to stand in hands and feet at times. I really enjoyed this time by myself… it was my way of spiritually welcoming my son into the world. It was our intimate time together. I kept thinking how proud I am of myself to have the courage to experience this.
At 4:30am, I decided to time the surges and I was surprised to see they were 3 minutes apart. Wow! I am actually in labour! I decided to wake my husband up, because I felt I was progressing quite quickly.
He was SO excited!
I decided to keep myself busy and inflate the birth tub, while he was filming me. It became hard work at this point to carry a conversation, and while labouring on the toilet (my favourite place for a while!), I noticed blood, so I paged Safire. It was 6am and surges were 2 minutes apart. She advised me she will be there soon and around 7:30-8:00am, she was there.
This is where I completely disconnected myself from the outside world and embarked in the most incredible transition that I have ever experienced – the one from being a woman to being a mother.
I was not connected with the outside world, my eyes were closed the whole time and I was welcoming my son how I knew best. Interestingly enough, my husband took some videos and I looked really relaxed, but I was working with tremendous energy.
I was making some interesting primate sounds and allowed my body to follow my mind, I moved, groaned, danced, stood still – it was a celebration of life and love. Originally, my doula was supposed to bring the TENS EMS Pain Management machine, but I was progressing so fast, I needed her to arrive at my place quickly, and told her not to worry about it, just rush to my apartment, because I am ready to push.
I got to 10cms quite rapidly and I was experiencing surges that were 20 seconds apart and some didn’t even have a break. They were powerful and I felt telling myself how powerful my son must be to need such intense energy to enter the world.
I envisioned water birth, so my husband and my doula were filling up the birthing pool tub with water and when I entered, the surges weren’t so intense. It was like time stood still for a moment, and I used the energy from the water to keep going.
All of the sudden, I felt the urge to push and I had to ask my midwife if I am doing something right. She assured me, after checking me, that I was indeed ready to push and my body is telling me to do that. After a while, for some reason, I was not comfortable pushing in the water anymore, so I used the birthing stool and eventually, I asked for help to be carried to my bed. This is where, after about an hour of intense pushing, at 2:05pm on November 2nd 2012, my son, Ariyan Ilie Bhaloo was born.
Thanks to my midwife’s – Safire – guidance, I had absolutely no tearing and it was her strong, but calming voice that gave me the energy to push, because I felt incredibly exhausted. She helped my husband pull Ariyan out of me and she placed him on my chest.
It was that moment that I felt true ecstasy. The cocktail of emotions and hormones were the passage to understanding and becoming a mother, the true existence of unconditional love and life purpose.